Often I bite my tongue, hide who I really am, deny and fragment myself, for fear that people will think I'm crazy.
But what if living in the clouds was the one thing that kept you grounded?
What if seeing no limits to love or universal power was the only thing that made you feel whole?
Would you keep running?
God once asked me "Would you abandon yourself?", "no" I replied.
It was easy to say no when I was talking of my own embodiment in another being.
Easy to say yes to unconditional love when it was for a reflection of...Myself; the one facing the mirror, I keep abandoning you.
Closing my heart to you because most would not understand. And if they cannot understand could they accept?
So I disconnect in an attempt to connect. Put up a facade when I have prayed for a purpose without pretence. I allow you to be free only behind a closed door, secluded bathroom, solitude of my mind.
Angry, guilty, ashamed.
But what if this is how it starts?
I learn best when no ones watching. Building confidence without piercing eagle eyes and probing questions.
What do I learn?
I learn you can't rush the journey. There are no shortcuts. Faking it is not making it, and in asking "are we there yet?" you are missing the ride.
I thought I was a fast learner until I met you.
#iceland #waterfall #travel #seljalandsfoss #poetry #selfacceptance