I've already made one post about Kai but one isn't enough to define how much they mean to me. @kaitoax has been here for me for about 18 months. Here is another bit of our story.
You know, back then I wouldn't even think about being active and somewhat show myself on social media because of certain past I've had with some people - these memories and these people made me feel insecure. Not wanted. Not enough. Because they all left without specifying why. I know I am not perfect. I am not even trying to be anything close to "perfect" if even a "perfect" exists. All I wanted to do was to gain my confidence back but I was always too anxious and scared to do so alone. I didn't have any friends for a few months, that made me pretty lonely and I kinda started giving up on things. After a few months in this state of loneliness I've become pretty antisocial. I didn't like talking to people, I didn't like being around people. It wasn't just them that I didn't feel comfortable around, I couldn't stop thinking about what they think of me. And that itself made me hate everyone.
But then one day Kai and me started becoming closer each day more and more. We were good friends but ironically a negative moment has brought us even closer and I think that's when we clicked for real and knew that this is right whatever the reason is. I felt so much better. It truly felt like a miracle because at the time when I was seriously thinking about giving up on everything they just stepped into my life and dragged me out of there back into the beautiful moonlight I have been searching for for months. They showed me there is so much to live for, to exist for. So much to see, so much to feel. I've realized this is my first real friendship. Don't laugh at me but I am convinced that what I am experiencing is having a soul mate.
Kai is a miracle that I am going to cherish as long as I will be able to. And I dearly hope we will never have to separate because Kai, with you, I feel complete. With you, I feel finally whole. 🖤