“W̶h̶y̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶p̶p̶e̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶e̶?̶
What is this teaching me?”
@vicky.shilling shared this quote recently and It really hit me hard. Since I’ve been ill and since getting my diagnosis, I’ve been battling with “why me?”, “Haven’t I been through enough?”, “I just want to be normal” and so on. But the fact is, this is happening to me, whether I like it or not. But instead of looking at it in that way, I can really take a different approach.
Since becoming unwell, I’ve said to people that I’m not surprised this has happened. Before diagnosis I thought I’d had a nervous breakdown. The fact I even thought that shows I was clearly living my life the wrong way. I really battle with my IBS so much and I kept pushing and pushing through, trying to be normal, living life at 100 miles an hour, trying to people please and really not make me the main priority. My mental health wasn’t good but I didn’t really stop to listen, I just kept on going. If you ask me, right now my body is screaming at me to stop and reevaluate how I live my life and take a different approach.
The biggest thing I’ve taken away from this is friendship. I’ve spent my whole life worrying what people think of me, even though it probably doesn’t appear like I do. I said to my boyfriend last week - I didn’t think I was loved this much. To the friends that have checked in, offered to visit, sent flowers, sent gifts, sent cards and called me. It means so much 💜 I guess sometimes it takes something like this to happen to make you realise how lucky you are!
Why am I sharing this pic? Because Facebook reminded me that this was 4 years ago. It was one of my favourite holidays - tbf, I say that about every holiday! But I cannot wait until I’m well enough to dip my toes in the sea again🏖