96•97•98•99•100 / 365
It started as one day of a mild, but pervasive, annoyance and quickly became a constant underlying frustration with several things that caused me to have more reflecting and dissecting moments than I really wanted to. I felt perpetually on the verge of being completely done with entire days and somehow equally balanced in looking forward to the blissful and beautiful moments I knew would come. But it only took one false step to send me to a place of deep ambivalence and virtual silence, comparative to my normally vocal disposition.
I knew that I’d get to a place in this project where it seemed like I just did NOT want to keep doing consecutive days and I’d fall off for about a week. I figured it’d have come sooner but I’m proud of how long I kept it up. I’ve learned a lot about myself through this form of pressed radical honesty with people I often barely, or don’t at all, know and it’s helping me to dismantle many of the terrible restraints I’ve put on myself and the attachments I’ve had to being perceived a certain way by people when I owe literally no one an explanation for who I am, nor an altered version of the experience I’m trying to lead and the message I have to share. It’s been a lot.
I really can’t fit everything I need to say on here, I never can, but if there’s something I want to be taken away from my first 100 days it’d be that the radical act of being yourself is the most freeing, terrifying, confusing and beautifully simple thing you can ever do but it’ll mean the destruction of the disillusion that’s kept you complacent in your self growth and, especially when you’re empathetic, will cause you to genuinely assess the world and the energy you allow AROUND your authenticity in a sharper way than before, so as to protect that essence with full vigor. . . I’ve also learned that this can be complete and total bullshit and that sometimes you perceiving negativity is just people being human so you’ve just got to breathe and let people l i v e.
#trans #transisbeautiful #artist #artistsoninstagram #braids #tgirl #art #transgender #transwoman #makeup #dragqueen #drag #beauty #thisiswhattranslookslike