Hi everyone! I hope you’re all having a good week. Mine has been a bit of a rollercoaster, I think it’s safe to say. 🎢 One of the things I’ve been wanting to chat with you about is the fact that when you’re a self-employed creative, you will find that you can be on top of the world one week, & struggling the next. I know I’m not alone in this, as I’ve heard quite a few people talking about the same thing. Instead of talking generally about this today (that’s for a future post), I’d like to talk to you about something a little more specific.
For a long time I wanted to start a YouTube channel. There were three things that put me off: a lack of time (making & editing videos is incredibly time-consuming), the fact that I’d have to learn how to edit videos which I imagined was something I’d never be able to do (it’s a steep learning curve & at first it isn’t easy, but it’s actually very creative & a lot of fun!), & the terrifying thought of putting myself out there for people to watch & maybe sometimes have negative thoughts about. I’m not confident on film; I’m anything but confident. I hate seeing myself on camera (although it’s getting easier the more I practise), I cringe at how I sound when I speak on camera, & I am torn between wanting to share aspects of my life & work with you all, & wanting to just hide away.
Then I think about how much I enjoy other artists’ videos. I just enjoy watching people & their lives, full stop. I find it interesting to see where they live, what they do, hearing their thoughts on different things...& their videos have helped me to feel less alone at certain points in my life. After I lost my partner in 2014, I would play YouTube videos until I fell asleep at night. It helped to see other people’s ‘normality’; their daily lives soothed me & helped me to stop thinking about...well, you can probably guess. So, long story short, I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone in a big way, in the hope that eventually my videos will be enjoyable to others in the way other people’s have been to me. I realised today when talking about this to @dominicbellamydesign that Instagram is my safe place. (Continued in the comments section below)